by Chelsi
In the course of a romantic relationship, couples go through a lot of problems. Some of those problems are too much to handle and can cause the inevitable rift in the relationship.
[ ADVERTIsem*nT ]
What would you do if you were the mom of a 19-year-old girl who has a boyfriend trying to dictate her move and her future? This Reddit mom did not sit back and took action to guide her daughter into making the right decision.
The original poster (OP) has a daughter who is about to go to college. OP said that Sara is a smart girl with a 4.0 GPA, she's the class valedictorian and dreams of being a marine biologist someday.
Sara recently received a full scholarship from her dream college and she couldn't be happier. OP and her husband have set aside a $250,000 college fund for their daughter long before she got a scholarship.
They decided that their daughter can still use the money for the other things she will need at school such as housing and food among other things. A few days after, OP's daughter came home visibly upset.
OP asked her what was wrong and Sara said that she was sad because she was no longer going to college because her boyfriend, Bryan, told her not to.
According to OP, Bryan is from a wealthy family who never said no to him. He is apparently very disrespectful, rude, and despite treating Sara sweetly when other people are around, it's different when they're alone with his friends.
Bryan constantly puts Sara down and compares her to Instagram models.
When Sara told Bryan about her full scholarship, Bryan was less than thrilled and told her not to go. He said she should just wait for him because he is not okay with her going to college out of state.
Bryan also said that Sara doesn't even have to worry about getting a job since his parents will support her financially. Prior to this, Bryan has discouraged Sara from pursuing marine biology saying it's not even a real job.
Meanwhile, Bryan is enrolled in college but he has no real plans for his future. He also told Sara that it makes him feel less like a man that Sara has a clear plan for her future while he has none.
OP thought things through but didn't say anything but she knew she wasn't going to let her daughter throw away her future. Then, Sara asked for her college fund that she will now use to support Bryan's dreams.
The concerned mom mulled things over for a few days and finally had a serious talk with her daughter. She told her plainly that she can't use her college funds for Bryan's dreams.
Sara started to freak out, saying why not since it's her money anyway. OP pleaded for Sara to listen to her, she asked her if she saw a serious future with Bryan in it.
Her daughter said nothing and began to cry, OP repeated the question more gently. Sara continued crying but admitted that she couldn't see her future with Bryan.
With that answer, OP pleaded for Sara not to throw away her dreams for a person she couldn't see herself having a life with. Sara nodded and went to her bedroom.
Long story short, Sara broke up with Bryan and he has been calling her non-stop, crying over the phone. OP feels guilty for causing it and now wonders if she's an a**hole.
Below is OP's full story posted on Reddit:
"What's the matter?"
He told her not to go to college at all!
"She admitted no while still crying."
Maybe Sara is not wise enough to handle a large sum of money...
... OP and her husband are sure that Sara is set for sucess
Good riddance
OP caught the red flag at the right time
Sara would have had to endure Bryan for years if OP didn't step in
Bryan's troubling behavior may have been going on for a while
Distance from Bryan is just the first of many steps
Despite OP's guilt, she was not wrong for getting in the middle of her daughter's relationship
Parenting done right
OP admitted that she felt like an a**hole knowing how hurt Bryan was after hearing him cry but after reading the comments, she feels justified that she was right to intervene
Children need structure and OP approached the situation correctly
OP does not come off as the a**hole at all
Bryan wanted to control Sara and by ruining her future she will rely on him completely just as he wanted
Cringe
Ruin your future for me and also, give me your money. Sounds like a bully to be honest.
Spot on
Indeed. If Sara is broke, jobless, and has no college to attend, Bryan can dictate what she can and can't do
OP made her daughter realize how awful Bryan is. She didn't tell her, she showed her how he truly was and realized it herself.
All those calls are not a good sign
Big, "I am the Alpha" energy and it's off-putting
After all the attention and support OP received from fellow Redditors, she posted an update about Sara and Bryan's situation; FYI, cops were involved so keep on reading:
The older you get, the wiser you become or so they say. When you're young and in love, you are bound to make a lot of stupid decisions.
Thankfully, parents like OP exist to guide you back to the right path. There is no man or woman important enough to throw away your dreams for.
You shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone who actively derails your future just so they can feel better about themselves. Those people are the ones you cut out of your life. Bye, Bryan!
