Social Issues
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Family drama is something nobody is safe from. From discussing covid vaccines over Sunday barbecue to getting ready for your relative’s wedding, things can go wrong in a split second.
The latter has happened to a woman who had her wedding set for this year, but the engaged couple moved it to next year because of the pandemic. Meanwhile, her cousin has set her own wedding date scheduled just a day before the author’s, but “that’s a whole other story.”
The drama escalated when the cousin asked each family unit for $500 to finance her wedding. “I told her no because my fiancé and I are saving up,” wrote the author in a post on r/AITA. Everyone was left divided, and now the author wants to know if she was right to refuse to make the generous “donation.” Tell us your thoughts in the comment section below!
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Here’s the full story of the incident which left members of the family divided
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Image credits: oogbach411
To find out what an expert had to say about this situation, Bored Panda reached out toRhiann Janak, a professional wedding planner and the CEO of “Lucy Till French Weddings.” Rhiann told us that in her professional and personal opinion, “it’s tacky to outright ask for money from guests, even if they are family.”
“I’d advise this bride to downsize her guestlist and use the budget she’s saved or been gifted from her parents,” the wedding planner suggested. She also added that the couple may want to think of a destination wedding as a way to save money.
“Doing a destination wedding is often a way to save money on the venue costs as it is normal for guests to contribute to or pay for their own accommodation—if that accommodation is at the wedding venue itself, it can offset the cost for the couple. You wouldn’t expect someone to pay for your hotel on a vacation, and this is no different,” Rhiann concluded.
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And this is what people had to comment on the whole situation
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Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.
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Liucija Adomaite
Liucija Adomaite
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Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.
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Pervinca Pervinca Community Member Follow
It seem to me that reddit users are surrounded by people with a great lack of common sense. Usually, at least where I live, the parents of the couple are the only ones that are expected to help financially for the wedding. All the other guests partecipate in the gifts ( usually you can choose the gifts from a list that is plenty of items with different prices, or you make a donations to help pay the honey moon) but they are not forced to pay a certain price (usually the more intimate the relations with the couple the more you spend, but it's not the rule). I find pretty offensive to ask the guest to pay a certain amount of money (especially a so great amount, not justified by the lunch you will attend). If someone make this premise, I will not attend the wedding.
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Dark.JuKo Dark.JuKo Community Member Follow
No one should be EXPECTED to help pay for someone elses wedding. Not even the parents. If you can´t afford your own wedding, make it smaller or save money.
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labaguette🥖️🥖️ labaguette🥖️🥖️ Community Member Follow
I really want her to say “Here’s $500.”, hold out $500 and take it back, saying “oh right. This is your donation for MY wedding”
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Janelle Collard Janelle Collard Community Member Follow
I love this! Hope OP can do it!
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Shelp Shelp Community Member Follow
I was wondering if anyone would dare to say that they were, in fact, the arseholes, and most importantly what their reasons would be. But fortunately, no one did. How can some people be that entitled? Demanding $500 from each family member? That's beyond me.
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JessG JessG Community Member Follow
Lol, I also scrolled down to see if anyone was crazy enough to call the OP the A-hole. I was ready to shake my head and roll my eyes, luckily everyone agrees, and I honestly don't know why OP even had to ask this question. I guess it's because some of her family sided with the cousin, which is not only sad for OP, but certainly could leave her confused about her feelings here.
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POST
Pervinca Pervinca Community Member Follow
It seem to me that reddit users are surrounded by people with a great lack of common sense. Usually, at least where I live, the parents of the couple are the only ones that are expected to help financially for the wedding. All the other guests partecipate in the gifts ( usually you can choose the gifts from a list that is plenty of items with different prices, or you make a donations to help pay the honey moon) but they are not forced to pay a certain price (usually the more intimate the relations with the couple the more you spend, but it's not the rule). I find pretty offensive to ask the guest to pay a certain amount of money (especially a so great amount, not justified by the lunch you will attend). If someone make this premise, I will not attend the wedding.
Vote comment up
29points
Vote comment down
reply
Dark.JuKo Dark.JuKo Community Member Follow
No one should be EXPECTED to help pay for someone elses wedding. Not even the parents. If you can´t afford your own wedding, make it smaller or save money.
Vote comment up
32points
Vote comment down
reply
Load More Replies...
labaguette🥖️🥖️ labaguette🥖️🥖️ Community Member Follow
I really want her to say “Here’s $500.”, hold out $500 and take it back, saying “oh right. This is your donation for MY wedding”
Vote comment up
25points
Vote comment down
reply
Janelle Collard Janelle Collard Community Member Follow
I love this! Hope OP can do it!
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0points
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Shelp Shelp Community Member Follow
I was wondering if anyone would dare to say that they were, in fact, the arseholes, and most importantly what their reasons would be. But fortunately, no one did. How can some people be that entitled? Demanding $500 from each family member? That's beyond me.
Vote comment up
24points
Vote comment down
reply
JessG JessG Community Member Follow
Lol, I also scrolled down to see if anyone was crazy enough to call the OP the A-hole. I was ready to shake my head and roll my eyes, luckily everyone agrees, and I honestly don't know why OP even had to ask this question. I guess it's because some of her family sided with the cousin, which is not only sad for OP, but certainly could leave her confused about her feelings here.
Vote comment up
12points
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reply
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