Who Should Break No Contact First? (2024)

Here's why it's so important for the dumper to reach out first:

1. Acknowledgment of Responsibility: When they chose to end the relationship, the scales tipped. They took the power to decide the relationship's fate into their hands. Hence, if there's any inkling of regret or a wish to rekindle, it is their duty to acknowledge the weight of their initial decision and take that tentative step back towards the center. It becomes a gesture that speaks of maturity and understanding.

2. Regaining Trust: The act of breaking up, irrespective of the reasons, chips away at the foundation of trust. Trust, fragile and precious, requires nurturing to grow back. By taking the initiative to reach out, the one who walked away signals sincerity, opening a potential path towards reconciliation.

3. Avoiding Mixed Signals: The dynamics post-breakup are delicate. If the person who was left behind initiates contact, it can be perceived as a sign of desperation or inability to move on, damaging their self-worth. On the other hand, when the initiator takes the step, it's a clear signal, free from ambiguity.

4. Emotional Equity: A relationship is a dance of give and take, of emotional transactions that ensure both partners feel valued. By being the one to break the silence, the initiator can bridge the emotional divide that the breakup might have caused, showing that they too bear the emotional aftermath of their decision.

5. Power Balance: The one who decides to end things momentarily holds more influence. For a genuine reconnection to occur, this balance needs recalibration. By chasing you, by making that effort, not only the balance of power is restored, but also the foundation for attraction to flourish once more. Only in a balanced dance can both partners truly find harmony again.

Who Should Break No Contact First? (2024)

FAQs

Who Should Break No Contact First? ›

Let your ex be the first one to break the no contact rule, especially if you're following it to try and get them back. It's easy to fall into a pattern of worrying about what other people think, but if reaching out to your ex and breaking the no contact rule is what's best for you, do it.

Should the dumpee ever break no contact? ›

Usually the answer is that you should not break no contact and you need to wait longer so that no contact can work on your ex more. If you've been dating more than three months, waiting a month and a half before even considering contact is ideal.

Who should reach out first after a breakup? ›

Wait 4-6 weeks after the breakup for your ex to text you first. If you're nervous or unsure about whether your ex-girlfriend wants to hear from you, you could wait for her to text you.

How long before breaking no contact? ›

If the two of you were together for at least 6 months, take 2 months off. The length of the relationship matters when it comes to the no contact rule. If the two of you were together for 6-12 months (or longer), give yourself at least 60 days before you think about reaching out.

What is the best no contact rule? ›

The no contact rule is a period of time where you don't talk to your ex. This means no communication whatsoever—no seeing them in person, texting, chatting on the phone, emailing, or messaging on social media.

Who suffers more dumper or dumpee? ›

Here's the thing – right after a breakup a dumper probably feels confident in their decision and the dumpee feels heartbroken and rejected. This grieving process is even more brutal if the breakup was totally unexpected for the dumpee.

Will dumper forget me during no contact? ›

It's unlikely that an ex will forget about you, even if you don't communicate with them after the breakup. Relationships tend to make a large emotional impact on both people involved, so it's likely your ex will remember you and the relationship even after the breakup.

Who moves on faster after a breakup? ›

This emotional processing period is one potential reason researchers, such as in one 2015 study, have found that men are actually slower to fully recover from heartbreak than women—and may never truly get over the loss of a partner. Yet the study's authors suggested that our primal biology is to blame, too.

What is the rule after a breakup? ›

“The No Contact rule is where you don't call, text, or communicate with an ex in any way after the breakup. It includes not talking to their friends or family about them or the breakup itself,” says dating and breakup coach Lee Wilson.

How to know if no contact is working? ›

5 Signs The No Contact Rule Is Working
  • You Start to Invest in Yourself. ...
  • Your Ex Indicates They Are Willing to Recommit. ...
  • They Are More Receptive When You Do Make Contact. ...
  • You Feel Open to Connecting With Others. ...
  • Your Ex Keeps Reaching Out to You.

What counts as breaking no contact? ›

As the phrase implies, the “no contact” rule entail cutting off all communications with your ex following a breakup. This includes not engaging in phone calls, texting, direct messages and “likes” on social media, and in-person meetups. Some even argue that looking at their social media posts is considered off limits.

What is he thinking after 3 weeks of no contact? ›

After weeks of no word, he might begin to panic about losing you. He's been hoping and hoping you'll talk to him, but now he's realizing he'll be a permanent ex if he doesn't do something. He'll reflect deeply and, if he wants you back, make a plan to win you over.

How long does it take a guy to realize he wants you back? ›

On average, it takes men about 8 weeks to miss their ex after a breakup. This can vary depending on the length and intensity of the relationship. You can tell he misses you if he texts or calls frequently, talks to other people about you, and invites you out to do things with him.

How do men feel during no contact? ›

The male mind during no contact

The no contact rule male psychology forces him to recognize his loneliness. After a breakup, if you stop contacting him, he will feel free and enjoy this phase as much as he can. But, with time, the loneliness and guilt pang will start to kick in.

What are the mistakes of the no contact rule? ›

Here are the biggest mistakes “No Contact deniers” have made when they break the rule too soon: Overanalyzing something their ex said and jumping to (wrong) conclusions. Appearing insincere or “off” because they're trying to hold back the panic. Attempting to reduce uncertainty and make off-putting ultimatums.

Does no contact work on the dumpee? ›

The no contact rule is a widely employed strategy that involves cutting off all forms of communication with an ex-partner. By implementing this approach, both the dumper and the dumpee can significantly ease the process of healing and transitioning into a new chapter of their lives.

What is the no contact rule female dumpee? ›

No contact rule female psychology says that cutting off all contact after a breakup is the best decision. This allows both of you to clear your heads and either move on from the relationship or decide to work things out and come back together.

Should the dumpee text the dumper after no contact? ›

Before sending a text to your ex after no contact, it's important that you have taken some time to heal from the breakup, become confident again, have the right mindset for this, know what you want in a relationship and know that getting back could lead to a healthy relationship.

Why the dumpee is better off? ›

The dumper has no time for anything else because he/she is already in a next relationship showing only his/hers chocolate side. The dumpee now has time for introspection and self reflection. He/she can analize the past relationship and come out a better and stronger person.

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