The One Thing FI Can’t Give You is the Only Thing You Really Want

The following is a guest post from Half Life Theory, a site focused on building wealth through personal development.

I wanted to run this article because it brings up some interesting points about striving for financial independence and its relation to happiness, two things that are closely related IMO.

I don’t agree with all the conclusions below and I think for some people becoming financially independent does bring happiness, but many of the following ideas should help to start a conversation about what we’re all really looking for when we seek financial independence.

So with that said, here we go…

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On the path to financial independence (FI), it is very easy to become excessively focused on money. We stress about our investments, our retirement accounts and optimizing spending.

We are chasing that finish line at the end of the tedious race of the 9-5 and there is no wonder why. The corporate culture has become toxic in certain companies, and the average employee is absolutely spent trying to keep up with day to day life.

And so we FIRE!

If you had your very own magic genie that was able to grant you one wish…one thing, whatever it is you want in the world, granted in an instant, what would you wish for?

Money?

I know, that’s the easy answer, that’s what most of us would wish for…I know I probably would.

But how much money…one million dollars?

OK come on, who am I kidding, this is a magic genie we are talking about here…we can have whatever we want! Let’s think big now…One trillion?

There you go, that’s more like it! That ought to afford us any kind of lifestyle we could ever dream of.

Maybe you aren’t obsessed with money like the rest of us, maybe you would want to find the love of your life? That would be amazing right?

Or maybe it’s something much deeper….Maybe you would wish to repair your troubled marriage and live happily ever after with your spouse and children.

Whatever it is any of us can come up with to ask our genie for…what is the true underlying reason we want those things?

It’s not rocket science…Let’s say it together now…

Our Ultimate Concern

The one thing that most people ultimately want is to be happy. You could stop any random person on the street, from the most crooked felon bank robber to the holiest Sunday school teacher and ask…do you want to be happy?

Obviously, they will absolutely say yes!

The truth is, we all want to be happy and that is why we do most of the things we do every day as we go through this journey of life.

The excessive spender corporate executive buys the new boat or sports car chasing that high of happiness. The spendy stay-at-home wife gets the new cabinets and marble counter tops because she feels it will make her happier in her home.

We are all in this constant pursuit of happiness. And the dream, our deepest hope, is that one day soon we catch up to happiness.

In the FI community, we have found a cheat code. A life hack that buys us back our freedom. Once we hit this mystical FI number, we will essentially be free. We will escape the rat race and live life on our own terms.

So ask yourself, why do you want to be free?

Well at least free from your 9-5. Why do any of us want to escape the rat race and buy our time back?

I know, you want to escape the toxic corporate culture. You want to spend more time with your family. You want to travel the world. You want to be happy!

That’s the ultimate underlying reason isn’t it?

The New FI Equation

You want to be free because somewhere deep down you believe freedom will ultimately lead to happiness.

So in essence our new FI equation (at least the one we’ve cooked up in our heads) is:

FI = Annual Expenses x 25 = Happiness

Now that might be a little too black and white, but I think we can all agree, we are on the pursuit of FI in the hopes that it somehow leads us down a path that runs into happiness.

Alright, let’s take that hypothesis a step further.

Let’s extrapolate 10 years after you began this journey. Congratulations, you’ve finally hit FI!

When you buy back all your time, what are you going to do with all that time? Let’s dream a little bit for a second. Travel the world? You probably have a list of countries you’ve been dying to go to right?

Well you can probably knock that dream out within a couple years. So what else? Are you going to travel the world, come back and stop being happy?

So what else are you going to do?

Spend more time with your loved ones? That’s another awesome goal, but after a while I’m sure that will cease to make you happy.

Personally after about 2 weeks, I need some separation from loved ones Lol… But you get the point, spending time with family is absolutely one of the reasons I am pursuing FI, but I really don’t think that alone will KEEP me happy.

So what is it? How do we plan to achieve this ever-elusive goal of happiness after we hit FI?

How to Catch a Leprechaun

I heard a story once about a fisherman. This fisherman was one of the best in his town. He would spend most his free time fishing by the lake. He was so talented, he could catch tons and tons of fish…And give it away to friends and family.

Different sizes, different types of fish. His technique was so amazing, most people called it a gift from God.

One day, one of his close friends pulled him to the side and said, Scott, what are you doing? You can sell all this fish you are catching and make boat loads of money. You could be so rich, and have so much money you don’t even know what to do with.

Scott said, ok, so when I have all this money, what am I going to do with it? To which his friend responded, money buys you time, and with that time you can do whatever it is you want in the world.

What would you do?

Scott stared off in space for a little while, as if he was pondering something really intense. He looked back at his friend and said, “I would fish. And give what I catch to family and friends.”

For Scott, he was already living the life of his dreams, and apparently no amount of money could change that. He was already happy!

Isn’t that amazing? Maybe we do not HAVE to hit FI before we find happiness. Who knew?

Understand What You Really Want

I think that is one of the biggest pitfalls we get into on our pursuit of FI, we fail to really define the end goal. Let’s skip the travelling the world for a moment and the spending time with loved ones (not like these aren’t important). I think we need to first define what truly makes us happy.

Not just what we think, not what everyone else is saying, but what would truly make us happy? And is it possible to be happy now?

Whenever I read other personal finance blogs with people who have already retired, I try to look very closely in their writing for happiness.

Weird, I know, but it makes me very curious. What makes them happy now? Have they finally found what we’ve all been searching for?

Most times, at least from what I can tell, they are still in the pursuit of happiness even after accumulating all this money and retiring early.

Think about Celebrities for a moment. Surely they should be the happiest people right? They have all the money most of us could ever dream of. They can definitely afford to buy their time back, right?

But are they any happier than the rest of us?

From recent tragedies like the cases of Anthony Bourdain, one of the best story tellers I have ever heard, or Kate Spade, multi-millionaire fashion mogul, we all know this isn’t the case. Most celebrities aren’t any happier than the rest of us.

So isn’t it safe to say money alone or the lifestyle it affords us doesn’t / can’t make us happy?

So again, is this goal even attainable?

My Best Guess

Let me tell you one more story in closing…

A couple weeks ago, I was driving to my sister’s house to watch the NBA finals between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Golden State Warriors (didn’t end well for Lebron). As I approached a stop sign a few blocks from where she lives, I saw a homeless man.

He wore the most ragged clothes. You could see a few holes in his mud-brown colored white t shirt. He was sporting one of those catchy signs like, “Help fight Hobophobia”….

Before I drove off, like I normally would, probably thinking, “go get a job and stop begging others to help you when you can help yourself”, I decided to roll the window down. I can’t even say I know why I did. This isn’t something I normally do. But for some reason I had the urge to on this day.

I shouted out the window, ”Is there anything I can help you with?”

He started to approach the car, and before we were face to face, I could already smell him. He smelled like he had doused himself in expired milk and used garlic cloves for deodorant.

In the most surprisingly pleasant voice I had heard in a while he said, “I could really use some food if you don’t mind.”

Without any hesitation, I gestured toward the gas station across the street and rolled the window up. I made a quick right and turned into the gas station parking lot.

After parking, our paths crossed as I walked toward the corner store. He was the most pleasant person I’d ever met. He had a very bubbly attitude.

I didn’t ask for his backstory, I just let him share whatever he was comfortable with as we walked into the store.

I told him to get whatever he wanted and I would be happy to take care of it.

I grabbed a few things for myself, and a minute or so later, he joined me at the register. He only got 2 things, a regular bottle of sprite and a bag of Dorito chips.

That’s it? That’s all you want?

Obviously, I didn’t argue. He thanked me so much for stopping and offering a helping hand. Even though it wasn’t all that much, you could sense that this random act had literally made his day.

We said our goodbyes and I hopped in my car and drove off to my sister’s house. On the short drive there, I couldn’t help but think how fortunate I was to have all the opportunities that have led me to this point in my life.

I felt, for whatever reason, extremely happy, like I had played a small role in making someone else’s day a little bit better. And while that random act of kindness didn’t set him on the path of financial freedom, I know it meant a lot to him.

I could sense it.

From what he told me, most people wouldn’t even stop and look him in the face, much less talk to him, or buy him food to eat.

What’s funny, I think it did a whole lot more for me in that moment. I felt very happy to have impacted his life positively, even if it was just for a brief moment.

That’s when it dawned on me: happiness comes from a genuine feeling of fulfilment. Fulfilment can come from different avenues, like accomplishing big goals, buying new things etc. But those moments will be fleeting.

I think lasting fulfilment comes from having a positive impact on the lives of others. Obviously it doesn’t only have to be by giving people money, it could be sharing knowledge with others, or serving others in some capacity.

To me this is why the richest people can’t give their money away fast enough. Whether it’s Bill and Melinda Gates or Warren Buffett. They’ve figured something the average person probably never will: Happiness does not come from money; it comes from doing good for other people.

I think it is still imperative that we build wealth, at least that’s my goal. But I understand that my happiness will never come from it. I hope it only widens my radius of positive influence in the world and I am able to affect more lives.

Takeaway

We don’t have to wait for FI to be happy, we can do things that make us happy now. But we need to be cautious because pursuing the goal of FI can distract us from the ultimate concern.

It will feel like the only thing that matters, until you get there and realize there is a whole lot more to life. One thing I can guarantee is that being FI can’t make you happy.

Accomplishing the goal will surely make you happy for a while, but that’s just like buying a brand new Tesla would make you happy. In time, the feeling will wear off.

So how can we find happiness that lasts?

You can start living now, and start feeling happier now just by helping others whenever possible. Try to think beyond FI for a moment…what does true happiness look like for you?

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Comments

Drew says
August 11, 2018 at 4:42 am
I agree that happiness comes from fulfillment. Fillfllment comes from sacrifice and struggle. What we really seek is sacrifice and struggle. What advertisers try to sell us is quick routes to happiness, but that is not at all what we want. We want the drug, which is struggle, sacrifice, and suffering. You felt good (IMO) about helping the homeless man because you had to engage a stranger, stop your course, get out of the car, extract information about his wants and needs, locate them in the store, pay, get back into your normal life. Compare that to, “I gave him a dollar.” The effort is what is so fulfilling.
Reply
- Half Life Theory says
  August 11, 2018 at 7:50 am
  That’s amazing insight, and makes perfect sense. I will say effort and struggle do bring fulfillment but do they bring lasting happiness… I can’t really say.
  I’d say that definitely a piece to the puzzle, but probably not enough. It’s a reason some of the most successful people are the most benevolent.
  When bill gates write a check to a specific charity, it’s probably not much struggle…. What makes him happy to do it i’d guess it’s the impact he can have on the lives of other who don’t have the same opportunities.
  Thanks for the feedback
  Reply
  - Drew says
    August 11, 2018 at 8:00 am
    Well a little different perspective, when The Gates Foundation writes a grant check, they’ve gone through immense struggle to hire the project staff, the staff then evaluated thousands of prooosals, they do due diligence on the organizations, then take the risk to fund them, require follow up in the form of metrics and site visits. There is a lot of work that goes into Bill Gates writing a check.
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    Reply
  - madmulcher says
    September 11, 2018 at 10:59 am
    i thought they say that poorest folks are the typically the most generous seeing that they do give frequently and them giving anything represents a large(r) piece of what they have.
    Reply
- madmulcher says
  September 11, 2018 at 11:03 am
  ‘We want the drug, which is struggle, sacrifice, and suffering’
  I think that’s what researchers are on to when they report that people say they may have ‘meaning’ but not ‘happiness’. interesting that people can be happy but not feel that they have meaning and vice versa.
  Reply
Bernd Doss says
August 11, 2018 at 5:00 am
Thought provoking, to say the least. I am 75 yrs old, widowed, possess sufficient savings and have a small but lifetime income stream. However, my happiness comes in the form of children and grandchildren and what I can do for them in the way of education of my life experiences. Spending time, thoughts, life experiences and even an occasional dollar brings the satisfaction in knowing that they will hopefully have a richer life than mine. I guess my happiness comes from understanding the reality of this life and who is looking back at me in the mirror. Good article and was pleased by the fact that you stopped to at least speak to the gentleman who appeared to be in need. Good on you.
Reply
- Half Life Theory says
  August 11, 2018 at 7:52 am
  Thank you! i always enjoy reading the words of people much older and wiser than myself. Being able to smile at the person looking you back in the mirror is so critical.
  Your awesome for having such a positive impact on the lives of those around you. That’s amazing!
  Reply
- Lily | The Frugal Gene says
  August 13, 2018 at 2:38 am
  Awww I really respect your level of wisdom, maturity and reflection on life. Not everyone levels up to that point in my opinion but a few who are so wise.
  Reply
The Physician Philosopher says
August 11, 2018 at 5:31 am
I actually agree and this is the exact message I teach on my blog.
While it is well and good to chase after FI (I sure am), it is equally important to chase after and find happiness and fulfillment right now.
This is also why I really like – and look forward to – the idea of partial FIRE. I can’t wait to have more time off to do things outside of work that I am passionate about while still also doing a job that I love most days.
I want my cake and I want to eat it, too. Or at least eat part of the cake now and save the rest for later.
Finding what fulfills you is super important. That doesn’t have to wait til FI, but FI certainly can make it easier to find the time.
Reply
- Half Life Theory says
  August 11, 2018 at 7:56 am
  Absolutely! We definitely agree on the concept of having your cake and eating it too. If we don’t find a way to discover the things that fulfill us now, w will be setting ourselves up for failure.
  Thanks so much for the feedback Doc!
  Reply
Sam says
August 11, 2018 at 6:06 am
If you are younger, ask your older self (when your are 70, 80, 90 yrs old) – what are the reasonable things you want/wish to do, but didn’t do. Start listing them on a paper. Read it. Do those things NOW!
There are certainly gradations to FI. For me, FI in my mind is a greater fulfillment than in reality.
Reply
- Half Life Theory says
  August 11, 2018 at 8:01 am
  I love this…. basically live “FI” no, without actually being at FI… Awesome mindset to have in my opinion. Thanks so much for the feedback Sam!
  Reply
PFI#1 says
August 11, 2018 at 6:26 am
Great post! I agree. Numbers are easy to measure and keep score so we focus on them but no number will really make you happy. It is what you do with that number., and the years you are given.
Reply
- Half Life Theory says
  August 11, 2018 at 7:56 pm
  Completely agree… numbers help you track your progress to that goal, but i guess the point is just don’t get too caught up in the numbers.
  And always strive to find some happiness in your life now. Cheers! Thanks so much for the feedback.
  Reply
Patsy says
August 11, 2018 at 7:20 am
One of the more insightful articles I have read on any finance blog in quite some time. I figured out a long time ago that ongoing service to and connections with others (and I include animals in this category) are what truly make people happy. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize that. And I fully agree with the commenter above who talked about struggle and sacrifice- human beings were not made for a life of ease. We were made to strive. We get antsy and bored when we are not mentally engaged. That’s when we do stupid things!
But there is something more. Along with striving, I believe that we humans yearn for belonging. We need to feel that we belong in and to something larger than ourselves to feel. If we can also contribute to that larger whole, that much better! I think that’s (partially) why religious people are, on average, happier than those who are not, as some studies have shown. Community is powerful.
Those two things, striving and community, can be had and enjoyed at any time in one’s life. For too many on the path to FI, life before FI is torture. They have super demanding jobs, both in terms of time and mental and emotional investment. They have no time or emotional depth left to create or nurture meaningful relationships, to serve others, or to contribute to their community. No wonder they crave something more! In their case, because their careers are so all-consuming, FI is the only way that provides the time and mental space to pursue activities that will make them happier.
I think that’s a structural problem in society today. For many (most?), living a balanced life that includes work, enough time/energy for family, the ability to pursue hobbies, and participating in the community is not possible. Work demands everything we have. It’s just not possible to be successful or even provide adequately for your family if you are not willing to lay your all on the altar of work… Either you are part of the rat race, or you choose to live on the margins of society! So FI becomes the only way to get to those parts of life that are missing in the typical “corporate type”‘s life. Sad state of affairs….
I am incredibly blessed today to have a career and a job I love, to live in a place that provides plentiful opportunities to participate in and contribute to the community, and to have the time and mental bandwidth to volunteer in something that is important to me. I am not yet FI, but I am not in a big hurry- the journey is enjoyable enough that the destination doesn’t matter much!
Reply
- Half Life Theory says
  August 11, 2018 at 8:01 pm
  Thanks so much for the feedback Patsy! I totally agree with you… for ost FI represent the only opportunity to pursue the things that make the happy. And i guess the biggest take away is to focus on building a life you can be happy about now.
  Community is especially important for us as humans, so yeah if you are in a job that doesn’t foster community, and leaves you completely drained every single day, it will probably be extremely difficult to be happy.
  FI for me is just one piece of the pie. My ultimate concern is becoming my best version, and finding happiness in life every single day…. and even if i fail, i’m willing to bet my life will be so much more better for trying.
  Thanks so much for the feedback, i truly appreciate it!
  Reply
Razorback14 says
August 11, 2018 at 8:56 am
Great post!!!!!! Such a timely post ——-
Two weeks ago, while shopping, I had a conversation with an older gentleman near the watermelon stand at a local store ———- after that brief exchange, we both moved on……..thirty minutes later, we were both in the same check-out line, so I made a quick decision to pay for all of the items in his basket. Boy, that made me feel good and I could tell it touched he and the lady working to check us out……..
28 months from now, my wife and I plan to retire and move to another town ——- part of reaching the highest level of happiness, will be learning how to help others, without the light shinning back on us. And, as you shared, we’re not planning on waiting until we retire —–there is work to be done for others.
Honestly, helping others (family, friends and people we don’t know) is the perfect way to build happiness and we know it. Life has kept us plenty busy over the last 40 years and now is the time to stop, look and listen for guidance and ways to make a difference.
Again, thanks for posting this today – — – very helpful.
Reply
- Half Life Theory says
  August 11, 2018 at 8:05 pm
  Oh that is so awesome. I really love this! And congratulations to you and your wife. I am wishing you all the best as you move to your new city.
  I know you guys will continue to have positive impacts on the lives of the people in the community around you…. and that is absolutely going to be rewarding…. but obviously not in the monetary sense, but just in the “life” sense…. if you get what i mean.
  Again, congratulations to you guys… and thank you so so much for the feedback. Cheers!
  Reply
Karen Sarraga says
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August 11, 2018 at 9:09 am
Reading your post made it more clear than ever that what motivates me and my husband in the quest for FI and the expected happiness it will bring are two different things.
For me it is the desire to have more time to devote to personal pursuits. Years ago I was part of an online knitting group and we had the term HALFPINT, an acronym for Have A Lovely Fantasy Project I’ve No Time. I am able to dabble in several personal interests but want more. I want time to dive into my Genealogy and family research, to build the website with the results. I want the time to enjoy cooking meals and try new recipes instead of rushing to put food on the table. I want time to pursue craft projects and photography. I want time to devote more to physical activities that are enjoyable. They may sound like singular pursuits but many involve sharing and interacting with others.
For my husband it is simple. He wants the weight of financial insecurity off his shoulders. His father was a gambler. He grew up remembering days when loan sharks would come to the door and the time the power was turned off when the bills were not paid. He worries to this day that we will end up living in a cardboard box. He wants nothing more than to be able to know with certainty that will not happen, and he wants to give me the time I want for my pursuits.
We ran the numbers recently and we actually have achieved FI but he wants a bigger cushion to be sure. We are past the “retire early” definition. He is 56, I am 61, but we are taking our first steps towards retirement. Next month we are traveling to check out locations we are considering for retirement. We will leave the expensive area in the Northeast where we live now, heading somewhere we can stretch the retirement dollars further. We call it our One to Three Year Plan. We are using that time to find the right location, build up the financial reserves, and increase and add to side hustles. The happiness of time will come for me but your post offered some good insight that made me think more about what we need to make sure we hit the sweet spot where the stress of financial insecurity will be gone for him so we both find the happiness we seek.
Reply
- Half Life Theory says
  August 11, 2018 at 8:14 pm
  In this day and age, 61 is definitely early retirement. So, yeah congratulations to you and your husband…. you guys have accomplished a great thing being at FI now…. so it’s definitely nothing to sniff at.
  I wish you guys all the best as you begin that slow transition into retirement. I hope you get all the knitting and exercising you could ever have possibly dreamed of lol.
  Good luck my friend. And thank you so much for your feedback, i really appreciate it. Cheers!
  Reply
Debbie says
August 11, 2018 at 10:26 am
Wow, that’s the best essay I have read in a while. I am going to copy and keep it and share it with everyone. I am a nurse, and this is exactly why I don’t plan to retire even though I don’t need any more money. My job fills me.
Reply
- Half Life Theory says
  August 11, 2018 at 8:16 pm
  Wow, thank you so much Debbie, i really appreciate the feedback. Thank you so much for stopping by! Glad this little tid bit can help you along your journey.
  Wishing you all the best my friend!
  Reply
Toocold says
August 11, 2018 at 10:34 am
When you reach FI, you quickly realize that it is not the end. I have 5 main goals in life. One is to be financially free. Two are related to my family. One is simply to “be well”. Last is what I’m trying to achieve at work in the broader sense (yes, in a corporate job even when my NW is 100x my annual expenses). Any major life’s decision is weighed across these 5 dimensions. I’m seeking contentment, not happiness.
Reply
- Half Life Theory says
  August 11, 2018 at 8:19 pm
  That’s a very insightful perspective… we all must do what is ultimately best for us. And you logic makes sense to me.
  Thanks so much for the feedback. Have an amazing weekend. Cheers!
  Reply
Xrayvsn says
August 11, 2018 at 12:01 pm
Another great post from a personal favorite blogger of mine.
It has been said time and time again don’t retire from something, retire to something.
If your only goal of retirement is retiring from a job you don’t like you are going to be disappointed because there is no magic switch that says you will be happy from just this alone.
Your point on celebrities is spot on. They have achieved the pinnacle of success and yet some tragically take their lives showing that this is not enough.
Travel and spending time with family will take only so much. Have to fill the rest of the time with something worthwhile or you can do a downward spiral
Reply
Phillip says
August 11, 2018 at 12:15 pm
I generally agree with this thesis. For me, being FI and not working means I GET TO CHOOSE WHOM I MAKE HAPPY vs having that decided for me at work (e.g. bosses, customers). Many times, I don’t feel trying to make bosses/customers happy are worth my effort and time, given the impact making them happy contributes to society.
Reply
Bad_Brad says
August 11, 2018 at 12:29 pm
Happiness is fleeting. True joy comes only from knowing the one true God. Your gesture for this homeless man was one small move in that direction. The last, least, and lost. Love them and you are loving God. Peace.
Reply
mikew says
August 11, 2018 at 1:12 pm
Great article, very thought-provoking, on a complicated subject. I think the major parts of happiness are having challenging activities, being needed and having a reason to get out of bed every day, having enough time and resources to pursue activities that interest you, and finding spiritual peace. Having challenges and making achievements brings a lot of satisfaction. I think it’s too easy to look for happiness in “fun” activities, but that doesn’t last.
I also think we have to be careful about what kind of “help” we give to others. Charitable acts might make us feel good, but how do they affect the receiver? There are people on the corner asking for handouts who have been there every day for several years. Are we helping or enabling by giving them handouts? There is no pride in begging. Wouldn’t it be better to help them find a job, and let them have the satisfaction of earning their own way? Besides, the givers will likely start to feel taken advantage of when the people keep asking for help and don’t lift a finger to help themselves. It’s not a simple subject.
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Mr. Thrifty says
August 11, 2018 at 1:28 pm
I think there are going to be some people who defer happiness at every juncture on their way to FI what find themselves sorely disappointed when they get there.
The journey in life probably matters at least as much as the destination.
I tell people Mrs. Thrifty and I are pursuing FI, but we plan to stop and smell a rose or two along the way. For us, with little ones around, it’d be foolish not to.
Great post!
Reply
Tawnya says
August 11, 2018 at 1:35 pm
I completely agree with you. In fact, I’ll be writing a piece about my thoughts on FI and FIRE myself that deals with some of these same issues. The thing is, people need to have something they are working toward, something to occupy their time. Even traveling would get old after awhile. While FI itself doesn’t give you happiness, it does give you the freedom to be able to pursue what you want in order to try and find what makes you happy, and that’s what we’re really after.
Reply
Your Money Blueprint says
August 11, 2018 at 3:53 pm
Great post HLT. For me, I know when I reach FI I will be happier. It is not because I am running away from a job though. It is the fact that I will have bought myself an extra 50 hours per week for the rest of my life to spend as I please. I am happy now, but I know I will be even happier when FI
Reply
Ms. Fiology says
August 11, 2018 at 8:38 pm
Hey TJ! Firstly, congrats on writing a guest post on my favorite blog. 🙂
Secondly, as a Clevelander, that day you wrote about was a sad day. However, I loved your story of helping out that guy. Did you ever hear the Tim Ferriss episode where he interviewed Dr. Phil Zimbardo? It’s titled, “How to Not Be Evil” and I highly recommend it. Phil has a great way of how he interacts with people who are homeless.
Thirdly, I am a fan of being happy now. I’m also a fan of working really hard in order to achieve our goals, even the audacious one of achieving FI. I think it we can find our purpose along the way and if we cannot get paid for it, the motivation to achieve FI can be really great. It comes down to knowing your why, yes? I agree with your statement about helping others along the way can bring happiness 🙂
I love, love, love the fisherman story.
Reply
Mr. Shirts says
August 12, 2018 at 4:33 am
Thanks for writing this HLT. I think for a lot of highly paid professionals, a big challenge is being so tied up with “the fog of work”, you rarely have an opportunity to evaluate *what makes you happy*. Maybe you’ve moved a bunch of times for work, vacations are manic trying to fit everything in, maybe you loose vacation time visiting family across the country. One of the only ways to figure out the non-professional side of “what makes you happy” is to not work for a while.
I love plenty of things about my job, but I hate its antiquated and toxic work environment and where its geographically located are not on that list.
Reply
TROY ADAM HASELIP says
August 12, 2018 at 11:05 am
Probably a day late and a dollar short to make a comment but here goes. Awesome article!! Maybe the best yet, you should be proud!! My wife and I are 35, not FI, but very fulfilled. Let me explain “fullfilled”. We have ALOT going on. We have 2 children of our own and 2 foster children that we have had for over a year, we have 3 small businesses, 2 rentals and are involved in our community(I coach my son in baseball and football). All that to say that is not why we are “fullfilled”. You see, we have a much higher calling, to serve. Simple right?? Not always. We started doing foster care 5 years ago and it has been amazing, very hard and extremely heartbreaking. My saint of a wife and I are both Christians and believe that we were put here to love people right where they are at in life. That means helping when we are able without judgement. Believe me, we fail to do this alot but we are intentional about loving folks more often than not. When I read this article I thought of Jesus’s disciples and the apostles. They picked up their life and followed Christ during and after his life on earth. They were “fullfilled” in their quest. If I didn’t have faith my life would be the same as anyone’s else’s and, quite frankly, that just doesn’t sound very fun at all. Maybe my life sounds too busy with no time for anything fun, we’ll it’s really not. I am an outdoorsman and spend a ton of time fly fishing around the PNW for salmon, steelhead and trout. And my family comes and fishes a descent amount as well. We work hard, serve hard and play hard. And I honestly can’t think of a different life I would like to lead(: Read 1st and 2nd Corinthians to get a feel. And, by the way, you don’t need to be a Christian to read the greatest book ever wtitten(: God bless and thank you for reading.
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Dr. McFrugal says
August 12, 2018 at 12:34 pm
Nice article! While I think reaching financial independence is part of the equation to helping you reach happiness and fulfillment, it certainly isn’t everything. When we think of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs… on top of physiological needs (food, water, shelter) is safety needs. And I think part of our basic needs is financial security. (Financial independence is just part of the spectrum.) Once we are secure, we can better achieve self-esteem, self-actualization, self-fulfillment, and happiness.
Btw, I was reading your post and felt self-conscious. I’m thinking: “Man… I wonder if TJ thinks that I am happy or not by the way I write my posts. Crap, he thinks most of us aren’t happy so I guess I’m not!”
🙂
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DaveS says
August 12, 2018 at 3:56 pm
Great story. Loved it. When I was younger I was much more materialistic than I am now. I mean I still like nice things, don’t get me wrong, but when I buy something really cool the excitement is not the same as when I was younger. I always wonder about this. Why is this? When I was a kid I was extremely excited with just a handful of comic books. It lasted for days.
There is something very satisfying as fulfilling a goal or doing something difficult, but that’s not the panacea.
Helping others is so amazing. No doubt. Knowing that you may have made another person’s life so much better is just so special. The author found out that token “gifts” such as a drink or a snack can mean the world to others. Talk about perspective huh?
My wife’s had employees cry when my wife had to move to another position/location. My wife always was sad about that- and I understood but was so proud that she could make such a positive impact on people.
FI is important, but having great relationships and being able to help others is the life balance I strive for.
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- michael williams says
  August 13, 2018 at 4:13 pm
  “The only difference between men and boys, is the cost of their toys.” It takes bigger things to get us excited, because of the “been there, done that” factor. I’m 62. The last two things that evoked the kind of boyish excitement you’re talking about were 1) a new Yamaha 750 motorcycle (red and white, exciting as hell!) and 2) a big house on the hill overlooking the city. I remember the boyhood thrill of a new comic book, but that just wouldn’t do it these days! 🙂 And yet, the thrill of new things doesn’t last, not even these two big things. It’s like opening the last present on Christmas, and looking around and asking, is that all? The thrill of getting more stuff is very shallow.
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Lily | The Frugal Gene says
August 13, 2018 at 2:45 am
You are having so much fun aren’t you TJ 😉
For me, as a 27 year old, it’s a very odd place to already be FI. It flushes out exactly what life means and what I need out of life which is the pursuit of validity, purpose and mastery. I don’t think happiness comes natural to me because I’m usually a very “down” person (genetic, comes with the territory) so I have to approach FI more meticulously than laying on a beach with a few screaming kids. Everyone’s got their blend of happy, just make it work!
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- DaveS says
  August 13, 2018 at 10:05 am
  That’s impressive. How did you pull that off at such a young age?
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Dan K says
August 13, 2018 at 10:06 am
True happiness to me is making memories with family and friends. Whether it is traveling or trying a new place to eat. It took me a long time to figure that out as I spent most of my life trying to chase the almighty dollar. Now, it is a different story. I found a balance to FI and living for now.
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Ashley Chorpenning says
August 20, 2018 at 11:46 am
This is such a great post! We can be happy in the moment and enjoy the things we love while pursuing FI. When planning for retirement or FI we forget why we are doing it and what will make us happy. I think we need to discuss this topic more often. What’s the point of FI if you’re not happy?
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Leon @ Make Save Invest Money says
August 20, 2018 at 4:18 pm
I agree with most of what you are saying in this post.
I personally enjoy giving to strangers, who do not expect it. Mainly this is in the form of tips in a restaurant (not part of our culture in the UK, unlike the USA) or even when checking out of a hotel and giving the cleaner an abnormally large tip.
I want to move this on to more spontaneous acts of giving such as paying for someone else behind me at drive thru…
The other point I want to make is that in the perpetual pursuit of happiness through chasing the dream / reality of FI. “We” should all enjoy the journey as much as the destination.
There is no sense in delaying happiness for 20 years until you become FI. Enjoy life now and enjoy it much more later.
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- Half Life Theory says
  September 11, 2018 at 3:36 pm
  I concur with you on that. We should always be trying to find was to enjoy life now, vs waiting 20 years to hit FI.
  In most cases, FI alone will not bring you joy, we need to design a life worth living today. Thank you so much for your feedback. Cheers!
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Ed says
September 2, 2018 at 7:42 am
Amazing article. You just gained a new subscriber. Great work!
Ed
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- Half Life Theory says
  September 11, 2018 at 3:38 pm
  Thanks so much for the feedback Ed, i really appreciate it! Always love seeing new subscribers! Cheers!
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Brian says
September 11, 2018 at 6:29 am
Well what would you do if a company came to town and bought your lake and kept you from fishing
Well if you have sold some of your fish you could have bought the lake yourself and continued to fish!
That’s why I am going FIRE to own my own lake
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Eric @ Flip n Finances says
September 11, 2018 at 10:59 am
Good post that reminds us what’s truly important in life. Many people don’t know what truly would have made them happy in life until it’s too late.
What matters most is what lasts longest. Assess your life situation and it is shown that people who focus on family and service have the happiest lives. Thanks again for your post
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A Millionaire Next Door says
September 11, 2018 at 12:28 pm
One of the better PF blog posts I’ve read in a long time. This is a huge issue as you note for anyone facing retirement, either at 30 or 70 and in between. I think the struggle and fear for early retirees is just that. It’s early…..and not a social norm (yet), which creates more fear and possible ‘questions’ from friends, family, and neighbors. I read a good book about retirement called “You Can Retire Sooner than You Think” by Wes Moss. He focuses heavily on what you’ll actually do when you retire (early or at regular retirement age) as golf, fishing, and gardening every day gets very stale and boring, fast. You must find and have meaningful activities that create purpose each day. I am 47 and wrestling with this decision in the next few years of early retirement. I still have 3 kids to put through college but have 40X my annual spending in investments and cash. It’s not an easy decision, always many “what ifs”.
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Mr various topics says
September 11, 2018 at 1:37 pm
While I think it should be everyone’s inalienable right, Is the pursuit of happiness even the goal?
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OFG says
September 11, 2018 at 7:51 pm
I love, love, loved this post. My husband and I have reached millionaire status, but in some ways we have sacrificed happiness in order to do so. Financial Independence will definitely not make you happy, though it does allow you to worry much less about certain aspects of your life. I think it’s like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Just because you step up one level doesn’t mean the next level is abundantly easier to accomplish. Like everything in life we have to balance multiple goals and aspirations. Money may be one but happiness in my opinion is equally if not more important. Of course, that’s easier to say once the bank account already has money in it.
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Steven Johnson says
September 12, 2018 at 9:10 am
Happiness is:
Ability to do what you want to do each day.
Ability to help others whenever you can with whatever they need
Ability to know this freedom can continue forever– even beyond death
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Zachary K Holz says
September 12, 2018 at 10:05 am
You nailed the reason I want to keep teaching well past FIRE. I feel alive when I teach. I give back, I help kids, I help shape the future into something better. When I compare it to vacation time it’s not even in the same ballpark. Summer is relaxing, but I’m not really ME. It’s the giving to others that makes life worthwhile, no matter what is in the bank.
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Kyle @ NYPFGuy says
September 13, 2018 at 7:11 am
Wow, great post. I share similar thoughts on my blog and through my free course. The ultimate way to learn how to best use money in our lives is to figure out what we want and what makes us happy and use our finances to get us there. Money is the tool, not the goal
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