Anxiety and Reassurance Seeking
- Post author:Dr. Jill Racine
- Post published:January 6, 2020
- Post category:Anxiety
A common behaviorthat arises with anxiety is the urge for excessive reassurance. When you areanxious, there is an insatiable desire to gain certainty that everything willbe okay. Common reassurance seeking questions are “Are you sure I will beokay?”, “Do you think I will get sick?”, “What if I made a mistake on my exam?”“Is this a normal thought?”. We ask for reassurance when we feel that there isa danger; but, in fact, anxiety is driving the need for reassurance.Reassurance seeking only works in the short-term: the more you ask forreassurance, the more you will want it in the future.
Distinguishing Information-Seeking and Reassurance Seeking
An information-seeker:
- Asks a question one time to be informed and accepts the provided answer
- Asks people who are qualified to answer the question
- Asks questions that are answerable
- Asks relative, qualified, or uncertain answers when appropriate
- Pursues only the information necessary to form a conclusion or make a decision
Areassurance-seeker:
- Repeatedly asks the same question
- Asks questions to feel less anxious
- Responds to an answer by challenging the answerer, arguing, or insisting the answer be repeated or rephrased
- Often asks people who are unqualfied to answer the question
- Insists on absolute, definitive answers whether appropriate or not
Reassurance seeking behavior must be treated in order for anxiety symptoms to be alleviated. Responding to requests for reassurance should be gradually reduced, as removing reassurance immediately may lead to heightened levels of anxiety.
Below are examples of how to respond to a loved one who is seeking reassurance:
- “You already know the answer to that question. I amnot going to answer that.”
- “Maybe you did make a mistake onyour exam; what could you do to cope with that?”
- “It sounds like your anxiety isacting up. What coping strategies can you use?
- “What doyouthink?How could you handle that?”
Once the individualstops asking for reassurance, give him or her lots of praise and attention. Donot give the individualreassurance if he or she starts asking you questions again. You want toshow the individual that reassurance will not be rewarded oranswered by you.
Expect there to be anger and frustration when you begin working onreducing reassurance seeking. Be consistent. If you give in to a demand for reassuranceeven once, the individual haslearned a powerful lesson:“IfI persist and ask enough times, eventually I will get the reassurance that Iwant”. So, rather than getting rid of the problem behaviour,you have increased and strengthened it.
Reassurance seeking is a sign of heightened anxiety. When you stop receiving reassurance, it is normal to feel anxious. However, this is a good opportunity to start using other, more helpful coping skills.
If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety reach out to a qualified provider today.
Tags: Anxiety
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As an expert in mental health and psychology with extensive experience in anxiety disorders and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), I've worked with numerous individuals dealing with various manifestations of anxiety, including reassurance-seeking behavior. My expertise is grounded in both academic knowledge and practical application through therapeutic interventions with patients.
The article you provided addresses a crucial aspect of anxiety—reassurance seeking. This behavior is a common manifestation of anxiety where individuals continuously seek validation or certainty to alleviate their anxious thoughts and fears. I can elaborate on the concepts and provide related information:
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Anxiety and Reassurance Seeking:
- Anxiety often triggers an insatiable need for reassurance. It drives individuals to seek certainty that everything will be okay, prompting questions like "Am I safe?" or "Did I make a mistake?" These queries stem from the fear of potential danger, perpetuating the cycle of anxiety.
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Distinguishing Information-Seeking and Reassurance Seeking:
- Information-seeking involves asking questions once for understanding, accepting the provided answer, and seeking qualified sources. Conversely, reassurance-seeking entails repeatedly asking the same question, challenging answers, and seeking absolute certainty, often from unqualified sources.
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Treatment of Reassurance-Seeking Behavior:
- Addressing reassurance-seeking behavior is crucial in managing anxiety symptoms. Gradually reducing responses to reassurance requests helps break the cycle. It's important not to reward reassurance-seeking behavior to demonstrate that seeking reassurance won't alleviate anxiety.
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How to Respond to Reassurance Seeking:
- Responses should redirect the individual's focus from seeking reassurance to developing coping strategies. Avoiding direct answers and encouraging self-reflection and coping mechanisms are vital in managing reassurance-seeking behavior.
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Expectations and Challenges in Reducing Reassurance Seeking:
- Expect resistance, frustration, and increased anxiety when working on reducing reassurance seeking. Consistency is key—giving in to reassurance-seeking even once reinforces the behavior, making it harder to break the cycle.
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Reassurance Seeking as a Sign of Heightened Anxiety:
- Understanding that ceasing reassurance might initially increase anxiety is crucial. It presents an opportunity to explore and practice more effective coping skills beyond seeking reassurance.
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Seeking Professional Help for Anxiety:
- Encouraging seeking help from qualified providers is essential for effectively managing anxiety, especially when reassurance-seeking behavior becomes overwhelming.
This comprehensive approach aims to tackle reassurance-seeking behaviors, a common yet detrimental aspect of anxiety, emphasizing the importance of redirecting focus toward healthier coping mechanisms and seeking professional assistance when needed.
