Military Family Finances: Top 5 Mistakes to Avoid as a Military Spouse (2024)

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Right before my husband first re-enlisted in active duty military, we sat down and briefly discussed our “future military finances”. It was a quick conversation: we didn’t have kids yet, I worked full time, and in general, we didn’t believe it to be a bid deal.

Man, we were wrong!

Military Family Finances: Top 5 Mistakes to Avoid as a Military Spouse (1)

Military pay can be confusing to a new military spouse. Not only are there a TON of acronyms to decipher, but your overall pay can change not only from duty station to duty station, but from job to job!

For example, in the Navy, sailors receive Sea Pay and Sub Pay when out at sea, but when on shore they do not. Additionally, each duty station brings different BAH, which affects housing options, utilities, budget, etc.

I remember looking at his first LES, and I felt as if my brain was going to explode. What did all this mean? What were all these deductions and allotments?

Thankfully, I have learned my way around my husband’s income and learned (the hard way) the pitfalls and mistakes to avoid when it comes to finances. So now I am going to share these gems with you: Top 5 Military Finance Mistakes to Avoid!

1. Not Tracking Finances

Having solid budgeting habits is one of the most important habits military families (and ALL families) should have. Both you and your spouse should be on the same page with where your money goes and how much of it goes to each category.

A good budget can be a game changer. Look back at the last 1-2 months. Write down all of your necessary expenses (rent/mortgage, utilities, food, etc), your “fun” categories and your savings goals. I am sure you will probably find that “surprise” expense you didn’t realize you were putting money into. Don’t forget those recurrent charges (Netflix, Internet, etc)!

My husband and I have not always been the best at this, especially early in our military life together. What really made the difference was moving to a specific budget, being smart with our credit cards and using a mostly CASH system for expenses.

If you need to use credit cards, focus on paying them off every month and sticking to the budget using credit cards. Plus companies like USAA have amazing resources AND have points for cash back that you can get back some money you spend.

2. Pay Off Debt With Extra Money

This goes hand in hand with having a solid budget. Extra money is temporary: that is the cold, hard fact. Hence why is is called “extra”. This can make focusing on paying off debt more difficult. It is more fun to take that extra money and spend it on items you want NOW.

However, deployments (and the extra income that comes with it) are actually opportunities to rid yourself of unwanted debt that can weigh you down and cause longer lasting problems. Every extra cent you can put away towards paying off debt or putting into savings (once that debt is gone) will have positive affects in your finances.

3. Create a PCS Fund

When moving every 18 months-3 years, having a fund for PCS expenses can be very handy. Many people feel that since the “military moves you” that everything will be covered and you won’t have to put out extra expenses. That is simply not the case.

Most expenses you will have to pay up front (especially in regards to traveling to your destination) and wait for reimbursem*nt, which can take a while. Not having a fund set aside can be a recipe for debt. This is something I had to learn the hard way over the last few moves.

4. Putting Off Starting a Retirement Fund

If you are not already participating in the military retirement plan, I would highly recommend you do! The Thrift Savings Planhas 5 widely diversified index funds where you can invest in almost the entire U.S. stock and bond markets, and developed foreign markets.

Military Family Finances: Top 5 Mistakes to Avoid as a Military Spouse (2)

Additionally, especially for you as a Military Spouse, having a personal retirement fund is never a bad idea. Although it would be extremely unfortunate for military pension to be cut, other military funding has been cut before and nothing is certain.

An IRA or other type of 401K from a reputable company would put you in a sure place to keep your future finances safe. We have 2 IRA accounts, one with USAA and one with T.Rowe Price (my rollover from my old job). These companies both have great resources when you are ready to take that step!

5. Recognize Weaknesses and Then Get Help!

I have never liked discussing finances. It’s a touchy subject and there is a stigma that if you aren’t perfect at managing money, then you must be failing in some way. Trust me: that is simple NOT the case.

Ignore any hypothetical judgment and get to know the resources that are available to help you! Did you know there are FREE resources on many military bases and they may be able to help you with debt counseling and possibly even emergency funding? Yep, so go make sure to check them out!

You got this!

Personal finances are just that; personal. Maybe these situations do not apply to you, or maybe they do. Either way, I hope this guide will help you avoid these mistakes, whether for the first time or the 30th and to better secure your finances for the future.

And be sure to check out my FREE Budget template as you get going on your financial goals!

Military Family Finances: Top 5 Mistakes to Avoid as a Military Spouse (2024)

FAQs

Military Family Finances: Top 5 Mistakes to Avoid as a Military Spouse? ›

The consequences of infidelity

A conviction can result in a demotion, discharge from service, loss of benefits and up to a year in confinement. Adultery may also have an impact on key divorce issues such as spousal support, child support and a non-military spouse's eligibility to military retirement.

What happens when military spouse cheats? ›

The consequences of infidelity

A conviction can result in a demotion, discharge from service, loss of benefits and up to a year in confinement. Adultery may also have an impact on key divorce issues such as spousal support, child support and a non-military spouse's eligibility to military retirement.

What is a military spouse entitled to in a divorce? ›

After divorce, the former spouse is entitled to the Continued Health Care Benefit Program (CHCBP), which is the Tricare version of “COBRA” for three years. And as long as the spouse remains unmarried and was also awarded a share of the military retirement or SBP, the former spouse may remain on CHCBP for life.

What are the problems with military marriage? ›

Long hours and irregular schedules: Military members often work long hours and have irregular schedules, which can make it difficult to find time for their spouse and family. This can lead to feelings of resentment and isolation, as well as a lack of communication and intimacy.

What is the 20 20 20 rule for the National Guard? ›

An un-remarried former spouse may retain the military ID card if he or she meets the 20/20/20 rule. The 20/20/20 rule requires at least twenty years of marriage, at least twenty years of military service, and at least twenty years of overlap of the marriage and the military service.

Can you get kicked out of the military for cheating on your spouse? ›

Maximum Punishment Under UCMJ Article 134 for Extramarital Sexual Conduct. The maximum punishment for Adultery/Extramarital Sexual Conduct is a dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of all pay and allowances, and confinement for up to 1 year.

Is sexting considered adultery in the military? ›

Although sexting doesn't automatically equate with the UCMJ's definition of adultery, it can still fall under other punitive articles. Specifically, Article 134—the General Article—addresses behaviors that bring discredit upon the armed forces or are detrimental to good order and discipline.

What is the 10 year rule in military divorce? ›

The real 10-year rule is this: in order for the non-military spouse to receive direct payment of the servicemember's retirement benefits from DFAS after the divorce, the couple must have been married for 10 years during the servicemember's military service.

Does my ex wife get half my military retirement? ›

Direct Payment of Retired Pay to a Former Spouse

Under the USFSPA no more than 50 percent of a member's disposable retired pay will be sent as a direct payment. However, if there are garnishments for alimony or child support, up to 65 percent may be sent as a direct payment.

Can my wife take my military retirement in a divorce? ›

California is a community property state, which means that any asset acquired or earned during marriage is presumptively divided equally at the time of a divorce. Examples of assets include real property, bank accounts, vehicles, and retirement accounts, including military pensions.

What is the leading cause of divorce in the military? ›

Studies from the University of Florida indicate long deployments are one of the most common factors in military divorces. In addition to the loneliness each partner faces while apart, there is typically a difficult and lengthy adjustment period once they get home.

Why do military marriages not last? ›

Stress and Anxiety

Acccording to a 2021 Survey of military spouses, 44% have seen a counselor during their spouse's time on active duty. It's no wonder–the constant stress and anxiety associated with military life can take a toll on a person, which can ultimately lead to a strain on the relationship.

What are the disadvantages of marrying a military man? ›

Frequent Moves and Deployments: Military life often involves frequent moves and long periods of separation due to deployments. This can put a strain on the relationship and require a great deal of patience and resilience.

What is the military spouse rule? ›

Full benefits (medical, commissary, exchange, theater, etc.) are extended to a former spouse if: ➢ The parties were married for at least 20 years; ➢ The military member performed at least 20 years of service creditable for retirement; and ➢ There was at least a 20-year overlap of the marriage and the military service.

Can military spouses go to college for free? ›

The GI Bill pays 100% of tuition and fees for eligible military spouses and dependents, up to the maximum in-state tuition for public schools, and up to $22,805.34 per academic year for private or foreign schools. But first, you must have benefits transferred from the servicemember to their spouse.

Does 6 years in the National Guard make you a veteran? ›

Does 6 years in the National Guard make you a veteran? Yes, if you spent at least 180 days of that 6 years deployed on federal active duty orders.

Do I have to give my wife Bah money if we are separated? ›

At the time of departure, the Soldier is required to pay the spouse a one-time amount of $188.02 (EIFS) PLUS the pro-rated amount of the monthly support obligation of $752.10. Each subsequent month that the two are separated, the Soldier must only pay the BAH RC/T WITH amount.

Can you date while legally separated in the military? ›

So, until you have an order terminating your marital status, you are still legally "married" and not really free to date anyone else under military law.

Is adultery a federal crime? ›

The United States is one of few industrialized countries to have laws criminalizing adultery. In the United States, laws vary from state to state. Until the mid-20th century, most U.S. states (especially Southern and Northeastern states) had laws against fornication, adultery or cohabitation.

What is the statute of limitations on adultery in the military? ›

That said, the statute of limitations for criminal prosecution for adultery under military law is 5 years.

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