Relationships
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“Mo’ money, mo’ problems,” The Notorious B.I.G sang in 1997, which may have seemed ludicrous to anyone with financial issues. But as many adults have quickly learned, family finances and managing who is the breadwinner has its own deep set of pitfalls.
One man asked the internet if he really was in the wrong for demanding that his highly-paid wife take care of his parents. She earns a lot more than he does and already gives her own parents some extra cash, so it wouldn’t be too hard, he reasoned. The people of the internet instead had no sympathy, as he quickly learned.
Talking about money with your spouse can be a touchy topic
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
A husband wanted his well-paid wife to financially take care of his parents, as he thought it was her responsibility
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Image credits: KostiantynVoitenko (not the actual photo)
He gave a few more details after some reader questions
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Justin Sandberg
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Justin Sandberg
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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.
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Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.
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LooseSeal's $10 Banana LooseSeal's $10 Banana Community Member Follow
I'll never understand people who get into marriage and continue to view things (especially money) as mine/yours. My wife and I together own our house and our cars. Our money is in our bank accounts. If and when the time comes to help our parents we'll do what needs to be done. Too many people today take the step of marriage too lightly.
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Desiree Meredith Desiree Meredith Community Member Follow
I know ... They're like legally bound roommates, not partners.
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DrBronxx DrBronxx Community Member Follow
I'd say ESH. He sounds entitled, she comes off as heartless. I feel so bad for his parents.
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I'm on the fence, here, too. It sounds as if they have separate accounts, which may protect her money, but it puts a strain on him. For example, he has to save up for her expensive gifts. Some couples have three accounts: individual and a joint one for household expenses. I've been in both situations (individual vs joint accounts) and found it much easier to discuss our money with a joint account. My spouse's occasional grumbling is way less stressful than my worrying about my money. Joint accounts don't work if one is a spendthrift (sometimes it's both!), but it sounds as if he's not careless with money.
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R Dennis R Dennis Community Member Follow
This whole separate finance thi g has just never made sense to me... no matter who makes more, it creates an ugly power dynamic. My wife and I started from nothing - I had a low income job, she was divorced with three kids by the time she was 22. We sacrificed for each other and our family unit. Eventually we moved firmly into upper middle class... we help both of our families and are just grateful we can.
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MurderMittens MurderMittens Community Member Follow
In my family, my husband spends until the account is empty. He spent all of the retirement money before i had the sense to check up on him. I'll be working until the day i die, thanks to him.
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LooseSeal's $10 Banana LooseSeal's $10 Banana Community Member Follow
I'll never understand people who get into marriage and continue to view things (especially money) as mine/yours. My wife and I together own our house and our cars. Our money is in our bank accounts. If and when the time comes to help our parents we'll do what needs to be done. Too many people today take the step of marriage too lightly.
Vote comment up
16points
Vote comment down
reply
Desiree Meredith Desiree Meredith Community Member Follow
I know ... They're like legally bound roommates, not partners.
Vote comment up
4points
Vote comment down
reply
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DrBronxx DrBronxx Community Member Follow
I'd say ESH. He sounds entitled, she comes off as heartless. I feel so bad for his parents.
Vote comment up
14points
Vote comment down
reply
- - Community Member Follow
I'm on the fence, here, too. It sounds as if they have separate accounts, which may protect her money, but it puts a strain on him. For example, he has to save up for her expensive gifts. Some couples have three accounts: individual and a joint one for household expenses. I've been in both situations (individual vs joint accounts) and found it much easier to discuss our money with a joint account. My spouse's occasional grumbling is way less stressful than my worrying about my money. Joint accounts don't work if one is a spendthrift (sometimes it's both!), but it sounds as if he's not careless with money.
Vote comment up
12points
Vote comment down
reply
Load More Replies...
R Dennis R Dennis Community Member Follow
This whole separate finance thi g has just never made sense to me... no matter who makes more, it creates an ugly power dynamic. My wife and I started from nothing - I had a low income job, she was divorced with three kids by the time she was 22. We sacrificed for each other and our family unit. Eventually we moved firmly into upper middle class... we help both of our families and are just grateful we can.
Vote comment up
11points
Vote comment down
reply
MurderMittens MurderMittens Community Member Follow
In my family, my husband spends until the account is empty. He spent all of the retirement money before i had the sense to check up on him. I'll be working until the day i die, thanks to him.
Vote comment up
1point
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reply
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