Helping a Loved One Caught in an Online Romance Scam (2024)

Online romance scams are becoming more and more common, with scammers using dating websites, social media, and other platforms to trick individuals into sending them money. If you have a loved one who has fallen victim to an online romance scam, it can be difficult to know what to do. In this article, we will provide some advice on how to help a loved one who has been caught in an online romance scam.

How to Show a Loved One that they are Being Scammed

Sometimes, individuals who have fallen victim to an online romance scam may be in denial and refuse to believe that they are a victim. Here are some tips on how to convince a loved one that they are being scammed:

  • Present the facts: Gather evidence and present it to your loved one in a clear and factual manner. This can include information about the scammer's behaviour or inconsistencies in their stories.
  • Ask questions: Encourage your loved one to ask the scammer questions that only someone who is telling the truth would be able to answer. If the scammer is unable to provide a clear and concise answer, this is a red flag.
  • Discuss their feelings: Talk to your loved one about the emotions they are feeling and why they may be reluctant to believe that they are being scammed. It is important to understand that scammers often use emotional manipulation to get their victims to send them money.
  • Get a second opinion: Encourage your loved one to speak to someone they trust, such as another friend or family member, about their situation. A second opinion can help to provide clarity and perspective.
  • Look for patterns: Research and discuss the typical patterns of online romance scams with your loved one. Point out the similarities between their situation and the typical patterns of scams.
  • Use resources: Direct your loved one to resources such as the OCSIA website or Crimestoppers, which provide information for those unsure of whether they’re being scammed.

The next steps

If your loved one has begun to realise they may be involved in a romance scam, it’s important to take some actions to further protect them, and to make sure the scammer cannot manipulate them into trusting them again.

  • Listen and offer support: The first thing you should do is to listen to your loved one without judgment. Scammers use emotional manipulation to get their victims to send them money, so it is important to understand that your loved one may feel embarrassed or ashamed about what has happened. Offer them support and let them know that they are not alone.
  • Report the scam: Encourage your loved one to report the scam to the authorities. This can be done by contacting OCSIA using our cyber concerns reporting point.
  • Cut off contact: It is important that your loved one cuts off all contact with the scammer. This may be difficult, especially if they have developed feelings for the person, but it is necessary to protect their finances and emotional well-being.
  • Protect their personal information: Make sure your loved one takes steps to protect their personal information, such as changing passwords for their email and social media accounts, and not sharing sensitive information with anyone online.
  • Seek professional help: If your loved one is struggling with the emotional fallout of the scam, encourage them to seek the help of a support group for victims of online scams. Charities such as Victim Support may be able to help.

It is important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, as your loved one may be feeling vulnerable and embarrassed. By presenting the facts, discussing their feelings, and providing support and resources, you can help your loved one to realise that they are being scammed and take the necessary steps to protect themselves.

Helping a Loved One Caught in an Online Romance Scam (2024)

FAQs

Helping a Loved One Caught in an Online Romance Scam? ›

Find out exactly what personal information has been revealed. Block the scammer's email address or 'unfriend' them from any social media sites or apps. Consider changing your family member's email address and phone number, especially if contact from the scammer continues.

How to help a family member being romance scammed? ›

Find out exactly what personal information has been revealed. Block the scammer's email address or 'unfriend' them from any social media sites or apps. Consider changing your family member's email address and phone number, especially if contact from the scammer continues.

How to help someone caught in a scam? ›

How you can help
  1. Provide emotional support. ...
  2. Cut off contact with the scammer. ...
  3. Block any future payments. ...
  4. Change passwords. ...
  5. Keep evidence. ...
  6. Report it to the police. ...
  7. Take steps to prevent further scams.

How to comfort someone who's been scammed? ›

Tell them you're sorry that happened to them, that you're angry on their behalf at those who did this. Encourage them to report what happened to the police. They may give them the exact information that helps catch a “serial scam artist.” It would feel great to know they contributed to putting them in jail.

What is the psychology of a romance scammer? ›

They develop an online relationship with the victim off the site, “grooming” the victim (developing a hyperpersonal relationship with the victim) until they feel that the victim is ready to part with their money. This scam has been found to cause a “double hit”–a financial loss and the loss of a relationship.

How do you beat a romance scammer? ›

10 ways to outsmart a romance scammer
  1. Request a current picture. ...
  2. Keep an eye out for inconsistencies. ...
  3. Ask them to meet in person. ...
  4. Ask detailed questions. ...
  5. Request a video chat. ...
  6. Refuse to give out personal information. ...
  7. Copy and paste their profile. ...
  8. Ask for their phone number.
Apr 12, 2023

How do you make someone feel better after being scammed? ›

For instance, if the person you care about feels better by:
  1. Getting educated on scams or psychological tactics scammers use to prevent getting scammed again, or.
  2. Getting involved with an organization that supports people who have been scammed, or.
  3. Reporting the crime.

How to help someone who is being catfished? ›

Remain patient and supportive, and remember that they may be experiencing strong emotions, even if they do not immediately show it. Talking about the issue with a support person may prove useful. Never ridicule or make fun of someone's circ*mstances.

What is the psychology of a scammer? ›

Scammers use sophisticated psychological techniques. They exploit our deepest human vulnerabilities and bypass rational thought to tap into our emotional responses. This “psychological warfare” coerces victims into making impulsive decisions.

Will a romance scammer ever meet you in person? ›

Con artists are present on most dating and social media sites. The scammer's intention is to establish a relationship as quickly as possible, endear himself to the victim, and gain trust. Scammers may propose marriage and make plans to meet in person, but that will never happen.

How to outsmart a scammer? ›

  1. Do not make any decisions in the moment. ...
  2. Hang up if you are feeling pressured. ...
  3. Do not share any personal or financial information (your social security number, checking account information, etc.). ...
  4. Ask for their name and the name of the business/organization. ...
  5. Ask for additional information to be mailed to you.

How do you uncover a romance scammer? ›

How to spot and avoid a romance scam
  1. Is this a real person? Be suspicious if they say they can't meet in person. ...
  2. Incomplete profile. Scammers' use fake personal data to create accounts, and their profile info is usually incomplete. ...
  3. Sketchy information. ...
  4. Spectacular photos. ...
  5. They ask for money or account details.
Nov 16, 2023

How do you tell a family member they are being scammed? ›

If you think someone you know is being, or has been, targeted by scammers, try to speak to them about it. It's common for people to feel ashamed or embarrassed if they have fallen victim to a scam. You should reassure them that this isn't their fault; scammers use tactics that can trick anyone.

What do you do if you suspect a romance scammer? ›

If your online connection asks you for money, they are likely a scammer. Stop contact right away and seek support. Don't send money, card or bank details or important identity documents like your passport to someone you've only met online: No matter how long you've been messaging them.

Can a romance scammer be prosecuted? ›

There are many different kinds of romance scams, some of which take place internationally, and dating fraud of any type can result in criminal charges for those who are accused of operating scams.

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