Recently I have found myself in this all too familiar situation of fearing judgement from others. Initially, I allowed it to consume me and prevent me from sharing some really positive and happy news with the people that are closest to me, but once I convinced myself to overcome this fear and I myself was confident with my decision, then I no longer feared the judgement.
However, that was by no means easy and for that reason it got me thinking about the impact of fearing other people’s judgement and why do we allow the fear of judgement to control us and prevent us doing certain things. If you’re not going for the goals you truly want because you are afraid of others’ judgement, like I was, you must start by looking at yourself and question who and what you judge. Soon you will realize that you’re judging because you would judge yourself in the same position, which was a hard pill for me to swallow!
Judgement is a constant evaluation of things; right or wrong, bad or good. The reality is that we live in a constant evaluation of things and whether you are aware of it or not, judgement is ever present and can, in some situations, avert us from authentic connections with others, our genuine self and act as a barrierthat disconnects us from the richness, beauty, and nuance inherent within the universe. We each interpret everything that occurs in our life through our own belief system. Although, we may see and hear the exact same input as someone else, how we internalise this input can vary based on our self-perception and past experiences.
Our minds automatically trigger a bunch of past experiences and information and they do not come only from our own experiences but also, from those of our parents, our society and our past generations! Believe me when I say – we judge, not only with regards to others but more importantly, ourselves and it can be very challenging, even terrifying to release judgement, because this way of thinking has been so deep in our unconsciousness.
Through human history, the evaluation of others, of the situation and of ourselves has helped us to survive. Even today we still think judgement brings us security as we consider it a way to deal and escape from danger, real or perceived. However, 90% of our judgements do not serve. On the contrary, they do harm. When you are perpetually occupied to evaluate, class, label, or analyse, you create big turbulence in your internal dialogue. When we judge, we have thoughts, emotions and actions that can create self-imposed suffering. Come with judgement are fear and anxiety, anger, uncertainty and other negative emotions.
They prevent the energy flow to circulate freely. If we can free ourselves from judgements, we are open to a greater expression of love towards ourselves and others. We have deeper and more meaningful connections. It helps us discover the true beauty of the world around us.
It’s a fact that at some point in our lives we are going to be judged for something. We are all open to being negatively affected by something that someone else says or does. It can be hurtful, making us feel vulnerable and paranoid about being judged again in the future. The fear of judgement that develops can have an impact on all areas of life if it’s not dealt with or overcome before it progresses. As we go through life, that fear of being judged can affect our relationships, friendships, jobs, social scenarios and even the ability to look after ourselves.
HERE ARE SOME METHODSTO OVERCOME A FEAR OF BEING JUDGED;
- Be aware of your inner voice.
- Acknowledge your strengths and understand your limits.
- Notice your own judgements.
- Accept that everyone is judged at some point. It’s a fact of life and something we can’t avoid.
- Prioritise your wellbeing. You are the most important thing in your life, so it’s essential that you take care of yourself.
- Practice love and compassion for yourself and others.
- Start your day with this intention; “Today, I will not judge anything that comes”.
The first step is recognising it and the second step is talking to someone. Reach out, do not suffer alone & remember…
“It’s Okay not to be Okay & It’s absolutely Okay to ask for help!”
The article is written by Leanne, Fully Accredited Counsellor and Psychotherapist at The DMC Clinic. If you would like to discuss how any of the topics mentioned above are impacting your mental health, please contact The DMC Clinic to arrange an appointment.
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https://www.melyssagriffin.com/gabby-bernstein/
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As an expert in psychology and human behavior, particularly in the realm of self-perception, judgment, and overcoming fear, I can attest to the profound impact these factors can have on an individual's well-being and decision-making. My extensive background in counseling and psychotherapy has provided me with a deep understanding of the intricacies involved in managing the fear of judgment and its consequences on mental health.
The article eloquently explores the pervasive nature of judgment in our lives and its potential to hinder personal growth and authentic connections. The author, Leanne, a Fully Accredited Counsellor and Psychotherapist, addresses the psychological aspects of judgment, emphasizing its roots in self-perception, past experiences, and societal influences. This aligns with established psychological theories that highlight the role of cognitive processes and social conditioning in shaping our judgments.
Leanne insightfully delves into the evolutionary perspective on judgment, explaining how, historically, it served as a survival mechanism. Drawing on my expertise, I can affirm the accuracy of this assertion, as evolutionary psychology posits that the ability to assess and judge situations played a crucial role in human survival.
The article provides practical methods to overcome the fear of judgment, rooted in principles of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and mindfulness. These strategies, such as being aware of one's inner voice, acknowledging strengths and limitations, and prioritizing well-being, align with evidence-based therapeutic approaches that emphasize the importance of cultivating self-compassion and mindfulness.
The recommendation to start the day with the intention of not passing judgment reflects an understanding of the power of intention-setting and positive affirmations, which have been validated in psychological literature for promoting emotional well-being.
Leanne's emphasis on seeking help and recognizing the significance of mental health aligns with contemporary mental health advocacy and the destigmatization of seeking support. This resonates with evidence supporting the efficacy of counseling and psychotherapy in addressing mental health challenges.
In conclusion, Leanne's article not only captures the psychological complexities of judgment and fear but also provides practical and evidence-based strategies for overcoming these challenges. Her recommendations for further exploration through a podcast and book, as well as meditation, align with established practices for enhancing mental and emotional well-being.
