Intrepid Mental Wellness, PLLC Blog Dating 101: Spot The Red Flags Online
When you meet someone, you want to be able to spot red flags before you get too attached and into a long-term relationship with them. It's natural to want to ignore red flags because you like other qualities the person possesses. But by doing this you are just putting off the inevitable. Here are seven red flags you don't want to ignore when you meet someone new online.
1. They ask you for money
If someone you've met online asks you for money, this is a red flag you cannot and should not ignore. It's one of the most obvious signs that someone is talking to you for all the wrong reasons. No one you've just met should be asking you for money. It doesn't matter how much you have in common or what kind of a connection you feel. There are people out there who will prey on your kindness. You might want to believe that everyone is good and wouldn't ask you for money unless they were desperate, but you can bet they've done this to people before and will continue to do it.
2. They warn you about themselves
Never ignore a warning someone gives you personally about themselves. If someone tells you they are trouble, believe it. It's not your job to find the good in someone who can't find it in themselves. You might not understand why they don't like themselves, but take it as a red flag and move on. You wouldn't ignore a warning about a building being on fire and walk into it anyway. People sometimes like to joke and call themselves psychotic or a sociopath. If the person you're talking to does this, run the other way. It doesn't matter if they are joking or not. You don't want to risk it just to go on a date.
3. They say "I love you" within days
People expressing feelings of love is something you may run into often online. It's a good way to weed out people who move too quickly in relationships. One can't know they love someone within days or weeks and chances are it's something they say to people often. There are people who fall for every new person they meet. If someone expresses their love for you and seems to focus on feelings and not getting to know you, this is a red flag.
4. They won't send you pictures
When online dating, it's important to not only get to know each other, but see each other as well. You want to know who you're talking to. If someone makes excuses about why they can't send you a picture, chances are high they are lying. This is a common tactic used by people who are not being honest about who they are. Someone who is actively online dating should be able to send photos.
5. They give vague answers on their profile
An online dating profile is the first glimpse you have of someone's personality, what they enjoy in life, and what they are looking for. If someone's profile has vague answers or they say "ask me," it could be because they're boring or lazy. Whatever the reason, you should take this as a red flag. It's not worth wasting your time when a profile is supposed to give you a little glimpse into who the person is. If they offer nothing, maybe they have nothing to offer.
6. They talk about their ex
If you meet someone who seems obsessed with their ex, this is a red flag. Whether they like the person still or spend the entire time complaining about them, they clearly aren't ready to move on yet. If your actions are compared to those of their ex, this is probably not something you want to deal with. You will end up feeling like you have to live up to them or treat the person you're interested in better than their ex did.
7. They go heavy on the sweet-talk
If someone you just met is sweet-talking you in an attempt to flatter you, this is a red flag. They might tell you constantly how beautiful, smart, and unique you are. They might act like you are the best person they've ever met after talking just once or twice. Someone who acts like this probably has intentions that aren't in your best interest. You might enjoy hearing these things, but you have to remember that this person doesn't know you. A sweet-talker will not let up on their compliments, which may be an attempt to lure you into an unhealthy relationship.
If you know the red flags when online dating, you can save yourself a lot of time and heartache!
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