27 Signs You’re Falling in Love, According to Therapists (2024)

How do you know you love someone? Well, it can be complicated. There are some things we know for sure in life: Would I like to upgrade my coffee to an extra-large? Yeah, I would. Am I ready for a vacation with my best friend? 100%. But when it comes to love, things are rarely so clear. During Greece’s Mycenaean age, determining whether or not someone was falling in love required little decryption. All one had to do was ask whether their beloved would incite war with a number of wrathful Spartans, and they would know whether what they had was real. Knowing how long it takes to fall in love is a question we’ve been asking ourselves for centuries, but these days love is a different kind of tyranny.

Like an accidentally vegan snack food, true love can stop you in your tracks. It can also be consciously welcomed in soft, rolling waves. Call to mind a time you’ve fallen in love, and you’ll recognize the usual trends of emotional bedlam: the giddiness (and extreme bodily grooming) before the next date, the mutinous thrill of purchasing LinkedIn Premium to stalk their exes, the soppy love letters left unsent that fill up your Notes app.

Falling in love can feel like floating into an aromatherapeutic sauna and reclining against the gently sloped log seats only to realize that the door is locked from the outside—it’s disorienting and maybe full-on panic-inducing. But it doesn’t need to be this way, for we can turn to relationship experts. We need them in this modern day of social media anddating apps, when access to all those fishes in the sea is easier than ever and many of us are dating more than one person at a time. There are just so many things that can muddle our ability to decode the signs of love.

If you’re in the middle of some kind of casual inquiry into whether you’re falling in love, then this article is for you. If you’re in bed invoking a dreamless sleep to snatch you because you’re still overanalyzing their last text, this article is especially for you. Here are 27 expert-backed love signs that will help you answer the question, “How do you know you love someone?”

1. You feel adventurous.

There’s a reason you suddenly feel open to trying homemade sushi or wearing yellow. It’s love, baby! When you love someone, it can make you more daring and open to new experiences. “When we fall in love, we can expand our view of our self, who we see ourselves to be. It’s a great time to be creative,” says Clair Burley, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in the UK.

2. You’re intensely curious about them.

Forget your investigative pop culture podcasts and crime docuseries—your new lover is the latest subject of your deep dives. Feelings of love tend to make us “study our beloved’s every move, gesture, and word with steadfast interest, keen to know everything about this fascinating, one-of-a-kind creature,” says Maci Daye, a certified sex therapist and author of Passion and Presence: A Couple’s Guide to Awakened Intimacy and Mindful Sex.

3. You feel their pain.

Love can make you feel attuned to your partner’s needs. “Your love is growing when you have an increased sense of empathy toward your partner,” says Madeline Cooper, LCSW, a psychotherapist and certified sex therapist in New York and New Jersey. “When they feel sad, you feel sad. When they feel happy, you feel happy. This might mean going out of the way to give them love in the way that they want to receive it, even if it is not the way you would want to receive love.”

4. You’re full of date ideas.

From exploring the city to spending the night in to marathoning the best rom-coms from 1998 to 2002, you’ll find any excuse to spend more time with them. “You just want to drink in all that they are about,” says psychotherapist and sex therapist Kat Kova. “You will want to go on adventures together and learn more about each other by having shared experiences, and this increases the good feelings associated with novelty, challenge, and learning.”

5. You forget your other priorities.

We’ve all had a friend who vanishes the minute they start a new romance. This might even be you. “Another sign of falling in love is wanting to spend all our time with our partner, sometimes excluding our friends,” says Dr. Burley. “When we start to bond, our attachment systems are activated, which pulls us to seek proximity and closeness.” This doesn’t last forever. Attachment systems eventually settle, meaning you’ll feel ready to retrieve other parts of your life again.

6. You think you’ve found the One.

When a new relationship is going well, we might start asking ourselves, “Are they the One?” So how do you know if you’ve met the One? It’s tricky, because the idea can mean vasty different things to each individual, but it mostly comes down to longevity. “Knowing you’ve met the One is connected to a feeling of being in love as well as a sense that you know that this is the person you want to spend your life with,” says Elena Touroni, PsychD, a consultant psychologist and cofounder ofThe Chelsea Psychology Clinic in London. “It’s about being able to live harmoniously together and navigate different life stages and challenges. It’s about whether the relationship can stand the test of time, beyond when the initial excitement of being in love subsides.”

7. You crave physical intimacy.

They don’t call it the honeymoon period for nothing. “When falling in love, we are turned on like a megawatt light bulb,” says Daye. “Testosterone and dopamine create an arousal spike and lower inhibition. We are willing to have sex nearly anytime and anywhere, forsaking caution and the voice inside telling us to get back to work.” This is why anyone who has spontaneous sex on a grand piano is probably in love à la Pretty Woman.

8. You feel like moving really fast—or slow.

Depending on your attachment style, new love might have you moving toward extremes. “There are individual differences in how we each fall in love,” says Dr. Burley. “In attachment terms, this is due to a preoccupied attachment (leaning in) or an avoidant attachment (leaning out). A person with a preoccupied style is more likely to press the accelerator, and a person with an avoidant style is likely to take things slow.”

9. You enjoy sex more.

For some, sex feels better when there’s a little love. “You might know you are in love when a sexual experience feels better or more fulfilling,” Cooper says. “This could be for several reasons, including the ability to be more vulnerable and say what you like and do not like to your partner, trusting your partner during the experience, and not feeling like you will be judged.”

10. You’re more affectionate.

You wanna get physical? Hear their body talk? Thank the oxytocin for that spike in physical attraction. “We are more drawn to kissing, hugging, and touching when we’re falling in love,” says Dr. Burley. “Some theorists say it’s instinctive; some say it’s learned. Either way, physical closeness causes a burst of the bonding hormone oxytocin into our system. Named the love hormone, it feels good and helps us feel bonded.”

11. You feel positive about the future.

There’s a reason Joe co*cker’s “Up Where We Belong” still absolutely slaps nearly 40 years on. Love has the transcendent power to lift us up where we belong, to set things straight. “When we fall in love, our sexual and emotional issues can go into storage,” says Daye. “The future seems bright and full of potential.”

12. You’re worried.

It’s normal to feel slightly hesitant when you’re falling in love. “We can experience insecure and anxious feelings,” says Dr. Burley. “We experience what’s called attachment panic if we feel there is a risk that a relationship is not secure, and we might be rejected or abandoned.” If you’re feeling overly anxious about your partner, it might be a sign to reassess the relationship. So check in with yourself and your mental health, and be honest about your feelings and what you’re looking for in a relationship—and try to communicate that as best you can.

13. You can focus only on your next date.

Whether your usual mode of distraction is kitchen-based dithering or a Zillow stalk, nothing beats love. “When we are falling in love, the dopamine levels in our brains increase because we are expecting or experiencing pleasure,” Bruley explains. “This drives us to concentrate on the source of our pleasure: our date.” It explains that can’t-eat, can’t-sleep feeling of new romantic love.

14. You feel butterflies.

Ask anyone, relationship expert or not, “What are some of the common signs of love?” Chances are, they’ll say, “Butterflies.” And they’re not wrong! “Another sign of love is a butterflies sensation in your stomach along with sweaty palms, weak knees, dry mouth, increased heart rate, and light-headedness,” says relationship and sex therapist Georgina Vass. “All of this physiological activity can increase stress levels as well as impactsleep and appetite.”